


Judgement Day

by legolastariel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: About Time, Closure, Friends to Lovers, Heartache, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Regrets, Remorse, Reunion, Rick finally gets it, Soul Bond, but that's a good thing, trust me - Freeform, why is he always soooo slow to catch on?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 15:31:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: Rick is dead. Death comes to get him and takes him before the Gatekeeper of Heaven's gate, where he needs to find closure, come to terms with all his sins, the wrong decisions he has made, the stories he left unfinished, things he never said or did and should have, things he said or did and shouldn't have.He realizes his greatest regret is never having found true love, that one special person he longed for all his life. Reflecting on his life he suddenly understands that while he has searched the horizon, the one he'd been looking for was by his side all that time. Daryl.But it's too late now. Or is it?





	Judgement Day

**Author's Note:**

> The passages in 1st person POV are from Death's POV. _Death_ and Hades are one and the same "person".
> 
> This is a sequel to "More than a feeling" (http://archiveofourown.org/works/10718817)  
> and I had "Death" (http://archiveofourown.org/works/10017467) in the back of my mind, but it can totally be read alone. 
> 
> This piece was beta'ed by the wonderful staceykc. Thanks, hon!
> 
> Hope you like it!

  
_** Judgement Day ** _

 

         “Rick.”

I can tell he is confused, cannot comprehend what he is seeing, what is happening to him. No doubt he thinks it’s a dream. Most mortals do when I come for them.

         “Is this a dream?”

If I had them, I would roll my eyes now. After centuries in this job it has become kind of boring that for the most part humans are totally predictable. 

         “No. No, it is not a dream, Rick.”

He’s standing with his back to me, unable or rather unwilling to turn around and face me. I can barely refrain from faking a sigh. I don’t breathe, so I can’t sigh, either, but once in a while I truly miss the ability to.  
How is it that even grown men, whether they have led a quiet and peaceful life or fought battles and commanded armies, turn into little boys the moment Death comes calling? This not looking at me is step No. 1 – denial. The childish “If I can’t see you, you can’t see me, either” game, as though I’d just pack up and leave again, if they ignored me long enough. 

I step out of the shadow and stand right behind him now, but still he does not turn. But I know he senses me, knows I’m there and it starts to dawn on him.  
With wide blue eyes he looks down on the bed he’s standing in front of and at the body lying still and unmoving in it. He looks into his own pale face and starts to shake.

         “Am I dead?” he croaks out. 

         _“I ain’t here for the fun of it”,_ I can’t help thinking, but all I reply is: “Yes.” 

I’ve never been one of the eloquent ones. Who would I talk to anyway? People usually are not inclined to chat when I come to call.

         “I’m not old”, Rick says stubbornly and for a moment there I would like to smack him upside his head.

It’s not like I haven’t heard those exact same words a couple of million times in the past. He sure isn’t the first one who tried to reason with me, who tried to make me understand that it’s not their time yet. They _all_ do, save for the ones who almost embrace me because they consider everything I have to offer more pleasant than what life had in store for them.   
Rick Grimes is not one of those who lived on the dark side of life, despite the apocalypse. He has no reason to complain and no right to bargain for extra time. And after years living in the world the way it is now, he should know that each day is a gift, not a given right. And he’s had more days than most others.    
It makes me furious that he doesn’t see that.

         “You are pushing sixty, Rick. In times like these you _are_ old. In fact, you were one of the oldest people still alive on the planet and it _is_ your time.”

         “But …”

Why is there always a ‘but’? He still stares at his body and I gotta give it to him – he hasn’t changed too much since the apocalypse started twenty years ago. He’s still slim and fit and his eyes, that now stare blindly into nothing, are still bright and used to be vivid till the second he drew his last breath. The hairline has retracted slightly, but he still has his curls, only these days they are white, same as his beard and there are more lines in the still handsome face. This life takes a toll on people, has them age quicker, so you have to pay respect to everyone who lasted two decades in this nightmare.

         “I never thought I would die like that.”

         “Some people dream of dying in bed”, I reply, wondering if the innuendo was inappropriate. 

He disappoints me. It didn’t even register. He is too absorbed by his own thoughts that he doesn’t even pay attention to me or what I’m saying. This is outrageous. I think I’m starting to be annoyed now.

         “The time and way of your passing is not for you mortals to decide”, I chide. “I know you would have preferred to go out in a blaze of glory, but believe me – I’ve seen countless people who died in battle, fighting for a cause they deemed important enough to die for. When the last thing they saw and heard was destruction and agony, all of them would have preferred to die peacefully and painless the way you just did.”

         “That’s not what I meant”, he says and if I had eyebrows, I would have lifted them surprised now. “I didn’t get to say good bye.” 

I never thought this man would be able to surprise me, but he just did. 

         “Having everything said that needed to be said and everything done that was still left unfinished is a luxury only very few people ever have. If you used your time on Earth wisely, you have told and showed your loved ones all they have to know. I’m sure all your enemies knew exactly what you thought of them.”

Am I being sarcastic now? That sure would be inappropriate. To judge is not part of my job description.

         “As for the stories left unfinished – your children will continue them for you and their children after them. Not all stories are supposed to have an end.”

Rick gives a curt nod and swallows thickly, which has me slightly shake my head.   
Same pattern each and every time. They cannot let go. They hold on for as long as only possible to old habits, old beliefs – such as the one to have a body.   
They never do, naturally. They are spiritual beings the moment their soul leaves their mortal body and yet they still feel, see, hear, smell and taste because their spirit deludes them. We let them. Sooner or later they will evolve and not need all that any longer, but until then we try to make the transition as easy and pleasant as only possible.   
So if Rick needs the motion of a nod now or the feeling of swallowing, why not? There are more important matters at hand here.

         “I died all alone.” 

Now he’s talking. 

         “Come with me”, I say mildly and finally he turns around. 

His eyes widen instantly. A reaction I’ve seen just as many times as I’ve collected souls over the centuries. What do they expect? I would love to look like a young Brad Pitt and I know they think it’s cliché to picture me as the grim reaper with that long, black cloak and the scythe, but that’s what I look like. Sue me.   
I’m waiting for the usual fear or disgust that usually follows the first glance at me, but a second later I see Rick’s lips twitch.

         “You are shitting me, right?” 

I would love to cast him a scowl right now, but I can’t look any darker than I already do. Is he making fun of me?! Did he really just dare sneer at me? With this kind of cocky and disrespectful behavior he’s been pushing all my buttons for way too long now. I think it’s about time Rick Grimes was put in his place. And it’s for him to decide where that place is going to be. 

         “I said, _come with me_ ”, I growl while the room around us fades into darkness. 

Shadows creep in like thick, black fog, surround us and swallow every light and sound. Rick’s sneer disappears instantly. 

Do I really need to tell him what’s at stake here? His _soul_ , no less. This is Judgement Day and he best understand that right now. 

 

The darkness is complete, the silence deafening. 

Rick couldn’t recall ever being in a place that was this … _black._ This is what it must have been like to be blind, to not even see shadows in the darkness, different shades of gray against a darker background. Nothing. In his lifetime he would have felt his own frantic heartbeat now, would have heard blood swooshing in his ears and his own panicky fitful breathing. But there was no heartbeat any longer, no blood pumping through his veins – as a matter of fact, there was no heart and no blood at all.   
Somehow he knew all that, was aware of the fact that his body lay motionless in his bedroom in Alexandria. At least he hoped it still did. Was he going to turn? Was he going to be a danger to his own family and friends? No, probably not. After twenty years there were precautions, rules, laws … Such as locking bedroom doors at night in case someone died in their sleep – like he did just now. They would hear him, they would know what happened and they would put him down before he could harm anyone. Rick just hoped it wouldn’t be Carl or Judith who would have to do it. 

There was still no light, no sound and the initial uneasiness started to melt into serious concern now. Was this _it_? Maybe all the stories about Heaven and Hell weren’t true, nothing but the vivid imagination of people who wanted to believe that there was something more after they died. Maybe there was in fact _nothing_ and floating in this complete soundless nothingness to all eternity was in fact all that was waiting for them.   
And then maybe this was what was in store for _some_ people. It may just as well be that this was what Hell truly looked like. No fire and heat – just darkness and silence. Complete disorientation and loneliness for all times as punishment for all the crimes he was guilty of, all the people he had killed, all the wrong decisions he had made, all the times his ego and arrogance had led to disaster.

         “Please …” he croaked and gasped the next moment when he heard his own voice echo through the nothingness. 

His voice! It was there. He heard it. He just _gasped_ , so he breathed although he was dead. There was a tingling sensation in his fingers all of a sudden … Fingers?   
Rick still couldn’t see a thing, not even his hands before his eyes, but he thought he could feel _having_ hands and when he placed them on his chest he felt a body, felt his heart beating again. 

Was he dreaming? Was this just a nightmare he was going to wake from any second now? God, maybe he was blind. Maybe something happened that …

         “Rick.” 

The dark, sinister voice from before sounded right next to him and had the man flinch.   
Slowly, little by little the darkness faded, melted into various shadows and hues of gray until Rick thought he saw a light in the distance. His heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t blind. Thank God, he wasn’t blind.   
The next second he became aware of the black-cloaked tall figure standing next to him and felt a cold feeling settle in the pit of his stomach. Death.   
No, he wasn’t blind, but this hadn’t been a nightmare, either. He was dead and perhaps it was time to accept that.

         “Do I have your attention now?” Death growled and Rick gave a curt nod. 

“Good. I want you to understand one thing, Rick Grimes. You are not the first mortal I’ve come across who thought they had nothing to lose anymore once they were dead, but truth of the matter is, you’ve got _everything_ to lose. The few years on Earth are merely the warm-up, so to speak, and this now is Judgement Day. Your _soul_ is at stake and whatever you are going to do or say now will set the course for all eternity.   
This may be none of my business”, the dark figure continued before his voice suddenly picked up in volume and rolled over Rick’s head like thunder, “but to show some _respect_ is highly advisable.” 

“Hades”, a deep, yet friendly voice sounded nearby in a mildly chiding inflection and Death raised one of his skeleton hands in a defensive gesture.

“Excuse me, but every other century there’s always one of them who really has me go off the deep end. I want to see you do any better if you had my job.” 

“Ditto”, the voice countered while Rick followed the exchange with wide eyes. 

The next moment he became aware of a light in front of him that grew steadily brighter and brighter without blinding him though, until it formed an almost human shape. There was a body, arms and legs and a head, but no face. It was all light and although the appearance had no wings, Rick couldn’t help thinking ‘angel’ instantly.   
He felt an immense peace and warmth emerge from the being and his frantically beating heart slowed down immediately. 

_ Heart? But how …? _

          “In case you are wondering”, the light being said with what appeared to be a slightly amused inflection, “all mortals who just passed away still hold on to the belief they still had a body and they even still feel it and use their old senses. And although that is just an illusion we like to humor you for as long as you still need to hold on to all that. But first of all now – welcome, Rick Grimes. I am the gatekeeper.”

         “By the way”, Death muttered next to Rick, “I strongly advise not to make any Ghostbusters jokes now. He’s heard them all thousands of times since that movie came out in the 80’s and he’s really touchy there.”

         “Hades!” 

         “Just saying”, Death answered and took a step back with a shrug. 

         “Don’t you have to be somewhere else?”

 

I love it when people tell me how to do my job. Do I tell him when to appear or to dim his light when he’s too bright once again? No. Yet he dismisses me time and again just when it’s getting interesting. I’m dying to hear Rick’s answers to his questions, no pun intended, but unfortunately he’s right. Although mankind is an endangered species now, there’s still enough people left to keep me busy every single day and in fact, there are souls who cannot wait much longer as we speak. Pity.

          
         “I shall be back soon”, Death grumbled and then turned to vanish into the darkness beyond the gatekeeper’s halo. 

For a moment Rick thought he actually heard the light being sigh in relief.

         “Gatekeeper?” the man dared croak out. “But I don’t see …”

A sound had him fall quiet and lift his eyebrows in surprise. That was definitely a sigh just now.

         “Alright”, the gatekeeper said relenting. “You are one of those who only believe what they see, aren’t you? Naturally the boss doesn’t appreciate that too much, but to wrap things up …”

A huge golden wrought iron gate appeared behind him and he gestured to it while going:

         “Happy now? This is pure cliché, you know, but if it makes you feel better to actually _see_ it – there’s your gate. Now, can we get started?” 

Rick felt his throat close up suddenly and there was a nervous tickling in the tips of his fingers while he slowly nodded.

         “You want me to confess my sins now?”

         “No. I know your sins, Rick. I’m very well informed about everything you’ve done in your life and why. I know about all the people you killed and the lies you told. I know about the times you were weak for a good reason and the times you were strong for a bad one. I know your heart and I know your soul, I know your thoughts, your dreams, your wishes, your desires. I know _you_ , Rick Grimes.”

The man cocked his head and looked at the glowing appearance in front of him in total confusion. 

         “Then why … why am I here? What can I possibly tell you …”

         “I said _I_ know you. But I doubt _you_ know yourself. Hardly anyone who comes here does. I do not care for anyone to tell me they sinned. They _all_ have, except for the very young ones. A child is pure and innocent and knows no evil. But they grow up and soon enough there is no one left who’d be able to cast the first stone. Humans, Rick Grimes, were created as sinners and that was intentional. You need to be able to make your own decisions and choices and live with them afterwards. This is not called Judgement Day because _we_ are here to judge you – you need to judge yourself.”

Rick tried to process the information and failed. A frown appeared on his face.

         “I don’t understand. If you don’t want me to confess then …

         “Rick, you can only confess what you acknowledge and it can only be forgiven, if you regret it. But most people coming here do not even understand where they failed, because they don’t know their own soul – or like to delude themselves. The hardest thing to do is to look into a mirror that would not show your outside, but your true colors. Because many of those who thought they were wise would see their foolishness and those who thought they were strong would see their weakness. And the ones who considered themselves to be righteous may have to deal with their cruelty and arrogance. Lies need to end here, Rick Grimes. Those you told others and most importantly those you told yourself. You need to see your true self, accept your sins as such to be able to move on. Everybody has regrets, feels remorse for one thing or another, but they all like to tell themselves it wasn’t their fault, there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. Lies. Delusion. You need to deal with your past, with all those stories left unfinished to find closure. Otherwise the gate will be closed for you for all times.”

Rick ran both hands through his hair and shook his head. He was confused and fear had started to creep into his heart and sent cold shivers down his spine.   
Regrets? Remorse? What was it the gatekeeper wanted to hear? Did he even have any regrets? Was there anything he did, no matter how terrible a thing it was, that he was truly sorry for? He had killed countless people, yes, but they deserved no better. They threatened his family, they tried to take away from him what …

         “Rick!” The light being sounded slightly annoyed now. “ _This_ is exactly what I was talking about. You are not to make excuses for things you have done. Pointing fingers is not going to get you anywhere, because … look around you. No one else is here. This is about you and you alone. So tell me now – what is the one thing you are most sorry for? Your greatest regret?”

The man dipped his head instantly and looked at the tips of his shoes without really seeing them or wondering why he was wearing his old boots. The ones he wore right after the outbreak and which had fallen apart years ago.   
He was biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, struggling with himself before he slowly lifted his head to look at the gatekeeper again.   
The next second he suppressed a scream and flinched violently when he looked straight into an achingly familiar face. A face he hadn’t seen in two decades – at least not when he’d been awake. 

         “Hey, bro.” 

The voice hadn’t changed, but the words strung all the stings of his soul and tears flooded Rick’s eyes instantly.

         “Shane”, he croaked and swallowed thickly against the raspy sensation in his throat. “Where’s the gatekeeper?”

         “I am the gatekeeper”, _Shane_ answered softly. “Shane was here a long time ago and his soul has long since moved on. I appear in the form of those whose fate is still on your conscience, who are part of a story that is not completed. Tell me about Shane, Rick.”  

The man was barely able to look into those familiar brown eyes and the stinging sensation in his eyes increased once again. 

         “We used to be friends”, he said barely audible. “We grew up together, were in school together and later both joined the force. But you know all that.” 

His voice became angry and frustrated all of a sudden.

         “I loved that man like a brother and I trusted him with my life, but he tried to kill me, wanted to take my family away from me. This is not on me! That was his fault. This is not on me! What did he tell you? Did he say I did this? Did he?” 

         “Rick”, the gatekeeper’s voice sounded all around Rick while _Shane’s_ lips didn’t even move, “no lying to yourself, remember. You had twenty years to think about what happened back then and I know you thought about it a lot. Is this really all you have to say?” 

Rick was visibly struggling with himself now and pressed his lips together to a thin line while new tears pooled in his eyes. He had never felt so lost and alone in all his life. There was no one by his side for support, no one to give him advice with a simple nod or shaking of their head …

_ Daryl. _

The first tear slowly rolled down Rick’s cheek. If there had ever been a moment he had truly needed his friend, it was now. But Daryl wasn’t here. In fact, Rick was probably never going to see him again. He had lost him, just like Shane before, and there were so many things he had still wanted to tell both of them, but never did. 

         “Let me give you a hand, Rick”, the gatekeeper said and this time he even sounded like Shane, which had Rick’s heart rate pick up painfully. 

Did he do that on purpose? Was this really the gate to Heaven or the forecourt of Hell?

         “Shane saved your life numerous times while you were partners. He took you to the hospital when you were shot. And after all that, did you honestly think he would welcome the apocalypse as a chance to leave you to die and steal your family?”

Rick lowered his eyes, unable to look into his old friend’s face a moment longer, and shook his head.

         “No. He must have been sure I was dead, so he saved and protected Carl and Lori and took care of them in my stead.”

         “Lori. Your beloved wife, who showed her devotion by not even mourning for longer than a few days before she slept with your best friend?”

         “Don’t say that”, Rick snapped angrily. “She wasn’t like that. I guess she had been unhappy for a long time – and so was I. Our marriage was doomed long before that day and I cannot even blame her …”

He stopped suddenly, shocked about his own words. Up until this moment he had never had the strength to accept the truth. When he lifted his eyes again he looked straight into Lori’s pretty face and felt like someone punched him in the guts for a moment. 

         “I never stopped loving you”, _Lori_ said softly, “but you know we weren’t good for each other anymore. I was not the one you were looking for, the one you needed and I … “

         “You loved Shane”, Rick said matter-of-factly, surprised how those words sounded to his own ears and how easy it was to say them. 

They didn’t hurt anymore like they did back then. He had known the truth all that time, but jealousy, pride, anger and his damn male ego had kept him from doing the right thing. And that would have been letting her go. 

         “Yes”, she said sadly. “I should have told you.”

         “I knew. Just like I knew that he loved you back. It was my fault, Lori. If I hadn’t been so damn proud … No one was to take away from me what was mine, even if I didn’t …”

         “Even if you didn’t really want me anymore?”

It was almost cruel to say it so bluntly, but this wasn’t the moment to hold back anymore and sugarcoat things. So Rick nodded.

         “I was such a fool, Lori. You and Shane, you could have been happy. Maybe you’d even both be alive today. I lost my best friend, I lost your respect and I made you sad. I destroyed everything, had him turn against me and even killed him in the end. He saved you and Carl. He saved all of the people at the camp and he was a good leader to that group until I showed up. It was _me_ taking it all away from _him_ and no one ever thanked him for all he’s done. This _is_ on me.”

Tears blurred Rick’s sight and started to run down his cheeks unhindered. 

         “This is on me”, he repeated, while he desperately tried to compose himself. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

It took Rick a moment to calm down and still the steady flow of tears. When his sight cleared again, Lori was gone. The gatekeeper appeared in his previous form and emitted a soft, warm glow.

         “Very good, Rick. This is what we are here for.”

The man wiped the sleeve of his shirt over his face and breathed in deep. 

         “Are we done now?” 

         “Hardly. I cannot help the feeling that there’s more than one thing you are sorry for. Am I right?”

Rick’s features hardened instantly.

         “I’m sorry for not killing Negan when I had the chance to.” 

         “Oh, brother”, Death’s dark voices sounded behind Rick’s back in that moment. “Looks like I’ve returned right in time. Back to square one, huh?”

         “Don’t say that!” Rick snapped instantly while he cast Hades a furious glance.

_ Back to square one. _

Those words had never stopped haunting him. And Daryl. The words Negan had said right before he had killed Glenn. Glenn …   
With a violently beating heart Rick turned his back to the gatekeeper and even closed his eyes in a childlike manner. He dreaded what he’d see if he turned around just now, afraid to look into Glenn’s face and be reminded of one of the worst days of his life.   
Shane was the one person whose death he had caused by doing too much. Glenn was the one whose death he had caused by doing nothing. He would never forgive himself for either one. He couldn’t. No matter how many times Daryl had shouldered the blame, no matter how often Maggie had told both of them that it wasn’t their fault – the moment he had looked into her son’s eyes he had seen Glenn in the young face and the thought that the boy would never know his father had hit him like a slap to the face each and every time. If only he had killed Negan in time …

         “Rick, why would you have wanted to kill Negan?”

         “Why?” Rick yelled while he whirled around on his heels. 

Marginally he noticed that the gatekeeper didn’t appear as one of the people he lost and he was utterly grateful for that. 

         “He killed Glenn and Abraham and countless others.”

         “You kept me quite busy yourself, Mr. Grimes”, Death cut in, which had the gatekeeper’s light glow brighter for a second. 

Was this a sign of anger? Of chiding? Or of agreement? 

         “That’s different”, Rick answered stubbornly. “I didn’t suppress entire towns and kill people just because they stood in my way.”

         “You did not?” Hades growled. “You took over Alexandria the moment you set foot into that town. They had been living in peace and managed just fine for years and then you and your group came over that place like an invasion. This was when the trouble started, Rick Grimes! In all times there have been people like you, who forced their way of living and thinking onto people in their own homes, claiming this to be ‘for their own good’, because the invaders always thought to know better. Fact of the matter is, you did kill and threaten people in that town who stood in your way and you caused numerous deaths there simply by getting the trouble with the Saviors even started. _You_ set that avalanche in motion, challenged Negan by killing his people first and thus drew his attention to Alexandria in the first place, so how are you any better than Negan?”

         “Hades!” 

Again the gatekeeper’s light glowed brighter and this time it was clearly a sign of annoyance.

         “Enough. We are not here to judge, you know that. And if we were, it sure wouldn’t be _your_ job, so stay out of this.”

Death muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “silly glow-worm”, but knew better than to talk back to the gatekeeper. If possible his appearance even darkened and Rick felt like he was at the receiving end of a killer scowl, which had him shiver despite himself. 

It was deadly quiet for a moment, than Rick said almost inaudibly:

         “Maybe you’re right. I’ve made mistakes, but I tried to do my best to make amends. I just wish I could have stopped that avalanche before it pulled people under. Before we lost loved ones. Before Negan was able to take Daryl.”

Rick sighed deeply.  
          
         “He was never the same after that”, the man said sadly. “Daryl had come so far. Had started to trust in people, open up, lay his soul bare … and then … after Dwight’s betrayal in the burned forest and all the happened after, all Negan put him through … That’s why I would have wanted to kill him most of all. He took Glenn and Abraham away from us, yes, and Sasha and countless others, but they died the way they lived. Strong, complete, with their heads held high. Whatever he did to Daryl, it destroyed a part of him that was precious and the wound never healed.”

The azure blue eyes became suspiciously shiny once again. 

         “Daryl was _… is_ very sensitive, which makes him one of the good guys in the world, but he’s vulnerable all the same and got hurt too often in his life. Negan destroyed a part of him, made him harder, darker. I still see him back at the prison when Judith was just born, still see him hold her, feed her, smile and joke …”

Rick swallowed thickly and fought back new tears.

         “There used to be a light in his eyes, a warm glow around him … even brighter than you”, he said to the gatekeeper determinedly. “After Negan that light was gone. Daryl never smiled anymore the way he did back then. I missed that.”

He fell quiet and looked at the ground, deep in thought.   
He recalled the past twenty years, had an endless row of pictures play out before his mind’s eye, hoping to remember one single moment when Daryl had actually laughed, a day when he had really been happy and carefree, but there didn’t seem to be a single one. For the most part his friend had been quiet and brooding, withdrawn and caught up in an ever present sadness.   
They did have lighter moments together, sure. Times when they had sat shoulder to shoulder with what passed as ‘beer’ these days, had talked about more pleasant topics than wars, runs or walkers or had just indulged in the kind of silence only they would share. The kind that was never awkward, always felt comfortable and peaceful. Rick remembered how Daryl would sometimes lean into him on such occasions, cast him a smile and actually appeared happy for just that short moment, before the happiness faded from the unique blue eyes again. 

         “Wish there’d been something I could have done”, he said suddenly before looking up again.

The next moment he gasped audibly when he looked straight into those unique blue eyes. Daryl …

         “Don’t!” he angrily shouted at the gatekeeper. 

         “This is not me, Rick”, _Daryl_ replied in the gatekeeper’s voice. “My appearance is by your choice alone, consciously or subconsciously. Why do you think Daryl is here now?”

For a long moment Rick did not answer and just looked into his friend’s face as though he was trying to memorize each little detail. As if he hadn’t done that countless times over the years …

         “’Cause I miss him”, Rick said softly at last. “Ever since the apocalypse started he was always there. I knew I could rely on him no matter what. He’s the only one who never let me down, never judged, never left me even when I made mistakes or was too weak to be the leader they expected me to be. While others turned their back on me in times I needed support more than ever, he was there. Unconditionally. He’s the most loyal soul imaginable and … I really need him now.”

         “Why?”

          “’Cause … ‘cause I’m alone. And to be honest … I’m scared. He always caught me when I was falling.”

Rick’s expression hardened and he pressed his lips together for a moment.

         “I wish just one of the women I was with would have been like him.”

The second he had said that Daryl’s features faded and helplessly Rick reached out a hand.

         “No. Don’t go! Please ...”

He flinched when the blurry appearance in front of him turned into Lori once again, then melted into the pretty face of Jessie, only to look like Michonne the next second. Then Sarah and Debby, before the gatekeeper’s faceless form stood in front of him once more. 

         “What was that all about?” Rick growled. 

         “You tell me”, the gatekeeper replied softly. “What is it these women have in common? What do you feel when you think of them? Is there a regret, something you haven’t put behind yourself yet?”

         “Disappointment”, the man replied almost instantly. “That’s what I feel when I think of them. “They all left me, one way or the other. I cannot blame Lori and Jessie for dying, but the others … they just turned their back on me sooner or later and deserted me. Whenever I was weak or lost my way they either went behind my back and took matters into their own hands or left altogether, found someone new. I couldn’t rely on them. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough, wasn’t what they were looking for.”

The next moment Michonne’s stern face appeared where the gatekeeper’s brightly glowing head had been before.

         “And maybe it was the other way round, Rick. Maybe none of us was ever good enough for you, wasn’t what you were looking for, what you _needed_. I understood that a long time ago and I thought you’d figure it out, too, one of these days.”

         “Figure out what?” Rick said with furrowed brows. 

The light almost blinded him when Michonne disappeared and was replaced by the gatekeeper’s light again.

         “This is not just about being disappointed or feeling betrayed. We are not here to tend to hurt feelings. There must be something that runs deeper.”

It was silent for a moment, then Rick shrugged and said:

         “When I married Lori I thought this was it. I thought I was one of the lucky guys who found their true love in the first girl who crossed their path. But I was wrong. Wasn’t her. So I kept on looking, but … I never found her. For a while there I thought it was Michonne and when she broke up I kinda lost hope and the will to really go on looking. I tried, but … What are the chances these days of finding that one special person among the few people even still alive? If I had had more time, but … Well, here I am. I guess that’s one of my stories left unfinished.” 

 

I _knew_ this was going to take longer. I should have brought a chair, however odd this would have been. But at the speed Rick Grimes catches on, even I grow tired. I mean, give me a break. As long as there’s been life on this planet, there’s been Death. I’m way beyond retirement age and people like Rick wear me out. One of these days I _will_ smack him upside his head, mark my words. 

 

         “True love. I see”, the gatekeeper said patiently. “So tell me – what was it then you were looking for?”

Rick gave the question a moment of thought before he shrugged and said:

         “I just wanted someone who’d love me despite my flaws, maybe even because of them. Someone who’d always be there, give me strength when I’m weak instead of deserting me when I need them the most. Someone who’d be loyal, who I can trust and rely on, not only in good times, but especially in bad ones, since those are the majority these days. Someone I can laugh and cry with, who would laugh with me and not at me and share my sorrow instead of looking down on me when I cry. Someone who’s worth my love. Someone I need so much that I cannot live without them, miss them when they’re not there, who I can tell all my secrets and know they’ll keep them and not judge me for them. Someone who … who … who’s my _everything._ ”  
He sighed.  
         “I guess that was just asked too much, huh? I would even have settled for less, if I had only gotten part of all that, but … well, in fact I _did_ settle for less, but those girls didn’t. I guess their specifications were just as high and I didn’t meet them, either.”

The next moment a tall, dark cloaked figure appeared next to him and smacked him up the back of his head before wordlessly returning to his original spot.

         “Hades!”

         “Enough is enough”, Death replied unimpressed. “Sue me.” 

Rick rubbed one hand over his scalp and cast the dark figure a stunned look, while the gatekeeper’s light flickered fiercely for a second.  
Was he laughing at him? Was the keeper of Heaven’s gate _allowed_ to do such a thing? Well, even if Rick felt this kind of behavior was highly inappropriate, what was he supposed to do – file a complaint? 

“Uh-huh”, the deep, gentle voice sounded a moment later while the light being apparently tried to compose himself. “ _Usually_ we don’t smack people around here ...”,   
his inflection was in between chiding and grinning, that much was obvious even without a face to give the gatekeeper’s mood away.   
“… but once in a while it might help people to see things clearer. You’ve been searching the horizon for the longest time for that one special person, Rick, yet all that time there was someone right there by your side.” 

A surprised frown flashed over Rick’s face and it was obvious that he still did not get what the gatekeeper was aiming at.

 

Is it even possible to catch on so slowly? This man is driving me up the walls. When it came to shooting first and asking questions later, Rick Grimes was way too quick many times, but when it comes to listening to his heart he seems to be deaf in addition to being slow. If everybody’s brain was working at this speed, the wheel wouldn’t even have been invented yet. 

 

         “C’mon, man, I got work to do – we ain’t got all day.” 

Rick’s head whipped around and he looked at Death with wide eyes. It wasn’t so much _what_ he had said, but _how_ he had said it. The speech pattern was so achingly familiar and even the voice just now sounded almost like …

         “Daryl”, Rick whispered. 

The gatekeeper’s light grew warmer and melted into a face and a human body once more until Rick saw the friend he missed so much stand right in front of him again. Why did they have to do that? Why did they bring back so many painful memories and show him all the people he had lost or left behind? It was too late, all of this.

What difference did it make to be sorry for what he did to Shane and Lori? They were dead. What difference did it make to realize that he had made countless mistakes, had arrogance and his ego rule his life way too often? What’s done was done, what’s been said was said. There was nothing he was still able to change.   
And he never found his true love, wasted his life with people he may have loved, but who weren’t that one special person he was looking for. 

He looked into the shadow blue eyes of his friend and felt a warm, content feeling wash over him. 

At least he had found the other half of his soul, the one person who completed him. No one had ever been closer to him than Daryl and there had never been anyone else he had needed so much. Did he not tell his friend a long time ago that love was just a feeling? That there was _more_? Something way more important than a fleeting emotion that might come and go?   
And hadn’t he been right? Of all the women who had claimed to love him, not one stood by him in the end. The one person who had always been there, the _only_ one who never disappointed him in any way, was Daryl. 

A sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips and it took all of his willpower not to reach out a hand to touch the appearance in front of him.

         “He doesn’t look like this anymore”, Rick said softly.

         “Of course not. But this is the way you wanted to see him, so it’s apparently the way he looked in a very special moment.”

The man nodded with a thoughtful look on his face.

         “The night with the Claimers. When I thought I was going to die, same as Carl and Michonne, and he saved all of us. He was there like out of nowhere, unexpectedly, with his angel wing vest … He’s always been my angel, you know.”

Despite himself Rick had to laugh.

         “God, that sounded sappy right now. But it’s true. He’s saved my life so many times – and in more than one respect.”

Again there was a kind of breathless silence for a moment as the immortal beings were waiting for him to say something more, but Rick just cast a glance from Hades to the appearance of Daryl in front of him and pulled in a deep breath.

         “I’m gonna miss him.”

         “Do I need to smack you again, Grimes?” Death thundered, but _Daryl_ made a soothing gesture before turning to Rick again.

         “Let me ask you straight out, Rick, before Hades there loses his patience entirely.”

The ghost of a smile tugged on _Daryl’s_ lips and had Rick’s heart skip a beat.   
He would have wanted that smile to return to his friend’s face so badly, had tried so many times to make him laugh and sometimes the archer had. As long as he could spend time with Rick or had Judith and Carl around him, Daryl had appeared to be happy, but that happiness kept fading time and again, was like the ever changing tides. Never steady, never permanent. It was washing over Daryl in one moment and even reached his eyes at times, only to retract again the next and slowly fade to make room for the sadness that was lurking right beneath the surface. 

         “Are you still with me?” the gatekeeper’s voice derailed Rick’s train of thought. 

Rick nodded.

         “Yeah. I was just thinking that … If this right here is about regrets and missed chances, I think there’s one more thing I’m sorry for.”

         “And what is that?” the gatekeeper asked hopefully.

         “I wasn’t able to make Daryl happy. Despite the apocalypse and a life that was anything but easy, most people still found some kind of happiness. Judith was our little sunshine – she had the most cheerful disposition and reminded me a lot of Beth at times. Only Judy was … _is_ a whirlwind, has way more energy and is quite a handful at times.”   
He smiled fondly.  
         “Carl had Enid and they gonna have a baby next month.”  
The smile faded.  
         “I would have loved to see my first grandchild, but … well, I hope the little munchkin is gonna bring a smile to Daryl’s face again. He’s such a great guy – I don’t know why he never found anyone.”

_ Daryl  _ cast a warning glance in Hades’ direction when he noticed him rolling up his sleeves.

         “Rick”, he said cautiously, “maybe Daryl did find someone, but that someone was too blind to notice him.”

         “Must have been a complete idiot”, Rick slipped and was surprised when he heard Death mutter “Words of wisdom” behind him.  

         “Sometimes people don’t see what’s right in front of their eyes”, the gatekeeper said gently. “Just like you. All this time you were looking for someone who loved you, who was unconditionally loyal, honest and supportive. And there that someone was by your side all these years and even held the other half of your soul, yet you did not see him.”

Azure blue eyes grew unnaturally wide, while Rick stared at the gatekeeper with his mouth gaped open.

         “Daryl? Daryl’s my best friend.” Rick shook his head. “Yes, he is all I’ve been looking for, but … but … he’s a _man.”_

The gatekeeper pulled a face.

         “I _noticed_ , but tell me – in that long list of specifications, where does it say that your perfect match needed to be female?”

There was a moment of stunned silence as Rick opened and closed his mouth in the perfect imitation of a fish, while he thought about the question. The gatekeeper was right, he never specifically _said_ the person he’d been looking for was supposed to be a woman, but … but wasn’t that obvious? He wasn’t … 

         “I’m not … “ he started to put his thoughts in words, but broke off the next moment. 

He wasn’t _what_? Gay? Bi? Stupid prejudiced labels. He was _dead_ , that’s what he was. And he had wasted his life looking for something he could have had all these years, if he hadn’t been so narrow-minded, hadn’t had this tunnel vision. 

He looked into the gentle blue eyes in front of him and couldn’t help tearing up once again.

         “This is why you’ve been sad all these years?” Rick croaked out.

         “I wasn’t sad”, Daryl’s voice replied. “I had your friendship and your brotherly love. That was a lot.”

         “But I wasn’t …” Rick started, when he suddenly froze in mid-sentence.

That hadn’t been the gatekeeper’s voice. And those words had come from somewhere behind his back …

He whirled around on his heels the same moment Daryl stepped out of the shadows behind Death’s back. Confused Rick cast a glance over his shoulder, but the gatekeeper appeared in his usually form again, emitting a soft glow behind him.

Rick’s heart skipped a beat and an immense wave of joy and relief washed over him suddenly. He approached his old friend with widely spread arms and pulled him into a tight hug.   
This unknown, eerie situation had apparently unnerved him more than he had even realized and he had felt trapped, pushed into a corner, threatened for a reason he couldn’t explain. Maybe because there’d never before been so much at stake and he had been all alone, didn’t have his wingman to back his decisions up or just _be_ there. 

Now with Daryl here he felt _safe._ Nothing bad could possibly happen as long as they were together, at least that’s how the archer’s presence had always made him feel. 

         “I’m so glad you’re here”, he whispered into the other man’s ear and smiled happily behind Daryl’s back.

The next second the smile simply dropped off his face and he froze. All color drained from his face and with plain shock he pulled back to look into his friend’s eyes.

         “You are _here._ But that means … you … you, too …”

He cast a killer scowl in Death’s direction and something in the way the immortal being stood even taller indicated that Hades challenged Rick to say just one single word now.  
Daryl’s voice drew Rick’s attention though before he had a chance to.

         “’s okay, Rick. That was the deal.”

The younger man furrowed his brow.

         “Deal? What deal?”

Daryl shrugged and replied hesitatingly.

         “Long time ago during all-out war, when ya was injured and things didn’t look too good … Him and I”, he nodded towards Death, “made a deal. He promised me when yer time’d come, he ‘s gonna take me in the exact same moment.”

         “Two for the price of one, so to speak”, Hades tossed in and almost grinned when he saw Rick cast him a wide-eyed look.

Rick turned to Daryl and a frown spread over his face.

         “What kinda deal is that? Either side should have a benefit in a deal, but I don’t see what yours was”, he said to his friend.

Daryl looked down and pulled in a deep breath before he replied:

         “I wasn’t gonna be alone. Ya’s all I ever had ‘n’ I just didn’t wanna be left behind without ya.”

He shrugged again before he added barely audible:

         “Especially in a shitty apocalypse ya gotta have somethin’ worth livin’ for. And for me that was always you. ‘Twas okay that ya couldn’t love me _that_ way, but ya said … ya told me that … that I’s the only one ya really needed.”

         “And I meant it, too”, Rick croaked with a raspy sensation in the back of his throat.

Daryl dared lifting his head and looked his friend in the eyes again.

         “No one else ever did.”

         “Of course they did, Daryl. Judy and Carl and the rest of our family, they …”

         “They cared, I know. They loved me and appreciated what I could do, liked havin’ me around, sure. But … Not like you. The others … that wasn’t really _needing_ me the way ya said ya did. They all woulda been devastated for a while after yer death, but they got their own lives and woulda moved on eventually. They will. They can manage without ya and they sure ‘s hell can do without me. But I … What woulda been left for me without ya? Ya’s ma everythin’.”  

He bit his lower lip and took a step back. Never before had he expressed his feelings for Rick so openly and he could almost feel Merle slap him the way he’d always done whenever Daryl had dared say anything slightly emotional.   
Dixons didn’t say sappy stuff. Dixons weren’t even supposed to _feel_ sappy stuff. Being a _real man_ according to Merle Dixon meant being tough, keeping emotions to a minimum and never revealing those that had managed to creep in despite the wall a Dixon was supposed to have built around them. 

_ If ya ain’t lovin’ nobody, ain’t nobody gonna be able ta hurt ya. _

That had been Merle’s doctrine and he had tirelessly repeated it to his younger brother as long as Daryl could think back. More than once he had thought that Merle had been dead long before his heart stopped beating.

A hand placed gently on his shoulder pulled him from the past back to the here and now. Rick cocked his head and tried to look Daryl in the eyes, prompting the archer to lift his head again.

         “The night with the Claimers …”, Rick said softly, “you were willing to die _for_ me. And now you chose to die _with_ me?”

This time Daryl held his look without so much as blinking.

         “Never regretted either decision”, he just said. “Man, d’ya still not know what ya mean ta me?”

Rick swallowed thickly and felt an incredible tenderness for this man wash over him all of a sudden. His heart seemed to swell two sizes, like the Grinch’s in that Christmas story he used to read Carl when he was little.   
Had Daryl’s eyes always been this blue? Had they ever been so bright? Why was it that Rick’s hands developed a mind of their own suddenly and he just _had_ to touch the other man? Why was the only proper way to stop Daryl from biting his lower lip by kissing him now?  
Rick was craving for some privacy and time with Daryl alone suddenly, because deep down inside he knew the answer to all of these questions. He had always known. 

         “Ahem.” 

The gatekeeper cleared his voice behind Rick’s back in the attempt to get both of the men’s attention and if he had had a mouth, it would have gapped open now when both Rick and Daryl totally and completely _ignored_ him. 

Instead Rick lifted his hand and pushed a strand of Daryl’s long bangs out of his friend’s face, before he ran it over the dark hair down to the back of Daryl’s neck. His fingers lingered there in a warm and gentle touch while his thumb started drawing tender circles. With a sigh Rick dipped his head and placed it lightly against the other man’s forehead, while both of Daryl’s arms snaked around his middle.

         “Ahem!” the gatekeeper made his presence known more insistently now.

Daryl’s eyes narrowed when he reluctantly pulled back and  cast a glance over Rick’s shoulder to the light being.

         “The hell are you?” he growled.

Out of the corners of his eyes Rick thought he saw Hades flinch, before Death’s deep voice addressed the gatekeeper.

         “Do you understand _now_ what I have to deal with every single day?”

The light of the other immortal being remained unaltered, which was a clear indication that the gatekeeper was entirely unimpressed – by Daryl’s lack of respect as well as Death’s complaining.   
Instead he ignored both and a moment later spoke to the archer in his usual kind and gentle voice.

         “Welcome, Daryl Dixon. I am the gatekeeper.”

Daryl’s eyebrows rose to his hairline.

         “Like that chick in Ghostbu…”

He never got to finish the sentence. Knowing all too well who they were dealing with here and what was at stake, Rick visibly flinched when he heard Daryl start saying the one comment Death strongly advised him _not_ to say to the gatekeeper ever.   
He had to stop this. So far the light being had been kind and very understanding, but even an immortal’s patience and goodwill may have its limit.   
They stood too close for Rick to be able to cover Daryl’s mouth with his hand, so in a sudden impulse he pressed his lips to the archer’s. 

They both felt electrified, as though someone had just said the magic word and the secret door to their hearts, that had been sealed all of their life, had finally been opened.   
Magic. This was precisely how it felt to Daryl to feel Rick’s lips on his own, finally, after all these years. He had hoped and prayed and dreamed of this moment ever since the day he fell in love with the other man, twenty years ago, and yet it had never happened in his living years. Daryl had long since given up hope, had figured that Rick would never be his, couldn’t be, but this just now might have been the start of something entirely new, something he feared he’d never have.  
Apparently he had to die first to finally get to live. 

He felt a sense of loss and almost whimpered when Rick pulled back way too quickly, but the way the younger man’s azure blue eyes were dilated and his cheeks flushed indicated that he felt no different than Daryl. 

         “He’s touchy about the Ghostbuster jokes”, Rick said in a raspy voice, bringing to Daryl’s attention that they were not alone.

Unfortunately. Their thoughts and emotions were in turmoil, while both of their hearts were racing like mad. There was so much they wanted to say, so much they wanted to _do,_ but with Death standing to one side and the keeper of Heaven’s gate on the other, it was hardly the time and place. So all they did was get a hold of the other’s hand and interlace their fingers with the clear intent to never let go again.

         “Nice gate ya got there”, Daryl said to the gatekeeper due to a lack of ideas what else to say. 

         “Thank you”, the gatekeeper replied mildly, ignoring Rick’s smirk. “And it’ll open, too. As soon as I deem both of you worthy to proceed.” 

Rick’s smile vanished. The words were kind, the inflection gentle, but no doubt it was back to business right now. 

         “I get it”, Daryl said gravely, holding on to Rick’s hand tighter. “This is Judgement Day, huh?”  
He sighed, glad to have his friend right there by his side.  
         “Good thing yer havin’ a shitload a’ time around here ‘s soon ‘s I start confessin’ ma sins.” 

The light of the gatekeeper flickered a couple of times as though he was laughing.

         “Actually”, he replied with amusement peppering his voice, “I expect this to be rather brief. Unlike what you obviously think of yourself, there’d be way less sins to confess than you’d expect. Besides, this is not what we’re here for.”

He added the same explanation that he had given to Rick before and when he asked Daryl about his greatest regret, Rick felt the grip of the archer’s hand tighten.   
The next moment the form of the gatekeeper changed and melted into the appearance of Merle Dixon.

Tears were pooling in Daryl’s eyes instantly.

         “This is not Merle”, Rick whispered to his friend. “It’s still the gatekeeper.”

         “Then stop that creepy shit”, Daryl snapped at the immortal being, while _Merle_ cast a surprised look in Rick’s direction.

         “My appearance is by your choice, Daryl. Apparently your brother is the reason for a rather large sorrow you haven’t put behind you yet. What is it you regret?”

It was quiet for an incredible long moment, until Rick thought the older man wasn’t going to answer the question. But finally Daryl said hesitatingly:

         “I never told him how much he meant. Don’t think he woulda wanted me to. Back at the prison … All I said was that I wanted ma brother back and he kicked me out, didn’t wanna hear it. But without ‘im … I wouldn’t ‘ve made it.”

He swallowed thickly once before continuing.

         “Everybody thought he ‘s just some redneck jackass and for the most part he was, but … he wasn’t a bad guy. Just never had a chance. I know what kinda hell he hadda grow up in. I ‘s there, too, but he didn’t have a brother ta back ‘im up. First ten years a’ his life Merle was all alone. Only way he ’s able ta survive at all was growin’ tough, bein’ hard, not allowin’ nothing ‘n’ nobody ta hurt ‘im. There’s no one who loved ‘im when he’s little, so he never knew how ta love someone back, thought emotions made people weak and bein’ weak was the one thing he ’s scared of.   
But … in his own way … only way he knew I know he loved me.”

Despite his best attempt to hold them back, tears were pooling in Daryl’s eyes suddenly.

         “Taught me everything I know. Huntin’, trackin’, how ta be a survivor. And … I … I always loved ‘im for that. He’s ma big brother, only person I had before the apocalypse, only one who ever cared at all. So, I guess the most important thing he taught me ‘s how ta love someone, although he never meant to teach me that lesson.”

He cast Rick a quick side glance, before turning to his brother’s appearance once again. He missed his brother and the ‘person’ standing in front of him looked exactly like Merle the last time he had talked to him alive, so for a moment there he totally blinded out the fact that this was the gatekeeper and not Merle Dixon.

         “Damnit, Merle”, he croaked with a voice thick of emotions. “Ya shoulda tried, man. All the _emotional crap_ ya used ta warn me of – ya shoulda given it a chance. ‘s killin’ me, bro, that ya never had no one ya coulda loved that special way and who woulda loved ya back. Ya don’t know what ya missed out on, never really lived a single day. And if it wasn’t for you, I woulda ended up just like ya. Only reason the old fart wasn’t able ta destroy it all, was you protectin’ me and bein’ there for me – least most a’ the time.”

He stubbornly wiped over his eyes when a stray tear ran down his cheek.

         “I didn’t get it back then. Thought ya had left me again, but … ya let Michonne go, because ya was one a’ the good guys, despite what everybody thought. And ya tried ta kill the Governor ta protect me – and all the others. Rick. Know ya didn’t expect ta return, never meant to either way, right? Ya was makin’ room for someone else. Someone ya knew was good for me and I cared for and … who’d be everything ya couldn’t be. With ya there I woulda been torn, woulda had ta choose time and again and ya knew it woulda destroyed me eventually. So ya lemme be with Rick.”

Again he cast a quick glance to the side.

         “’cause ya knew I loved him”, he added almost inaudibly. 

Rick squeezed the hand he still held in his own, but didn’t interrupt. 

         “I never thanked ya for all ya’ve done, Merle. And I never told no one that … that … that ya was more than what they saw in ya. ‘m sorry. Ya deserved better. Ya really did.”  
“Despite bein’ a jackass”, he added with a sad smile playing around his lips.

He lowered his head and pulled in a deep breath, before whispering:   
         “Luv ya, bro.” 

The gatekeeper turned his head and looked straight at Rick. There was a reason why the younger man saw Merle Dixon, too. This was about Daryl right now and usually it should have been only him seeing his brother’s appearance. But Rick saw him, too. 

He and Merle had been like cat and dog, always in each other’s face with Daryl caught in the middle. Rick had been unwilling or unable to see any good in the older Dixon, had judged on first impressions and never given Merle a chance. Fact of the matter was though, if it hadn’t been for Merle’s sacrifice he and Daryl would never have grown as close as they were now. And if it hadn’t been for Merle being there for his younger brother when they grew up, Daryl wouldn’t have turned into the man he was. For that alone Merle deserved respect and gratitude and in a sudden understanding, Rick nodded into the gatekeeper’s direction, mouthing a silent “Thank you.” 

_ Merle  _ returned the nod with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, before the appearance faded and made room for the gatekeeper’s light once again. 

Daryl’s words suddenly registered and with wide eyes Rick turned to the man by his side.

         “Daryl”, he said cautiously while the older man looked up and met his eyes. “You … you said Merle knew that … that you … loved me?”

The archer just nodded.

         “But … God, Daryl, that was twenty years ago, give or take …”

         “Nah, twenty’s right. – Since the day in Atlanta, when ya offered ta help me get Merle.”

Rick gasped. 

         “But I _put_ him there in the first place.”

         “And ya coulda left it like that, but ya didn’t lemme go alone. Ya helped me and risked yer own life, pissed off yer wife and Shane, frightened yer kid … Knew ya didn’t give a damn ‘bout Merle, but ya knew he ‘s ma family, only one I had left and somehow that _mattered._ What I felt, what I wanted … that had never mattered ta anyone ‘fore. Not even Merle. I ‘s his li’l brother, the guy he dragged along, but he ‘s never able ta see _me_ , never considered that I mighta had wishes and thoughts and emotions of ma own. Ya was the first person _ever_ who saw me. Really _me_. And ya trusted me despite a’ what ya saw, gave me some kinda value for the fist time ever. How could I not love ya? And ‘fore ya have ta ask …”

He dipped his head and stared at his feet.

         “Yeah, loved ya like _that_ since day one.” 

Rick grew pale. All these years. All the women Daryl had seen him with while he had kept his feelings a secret. How much must it have hurt him to stand back and watch the man he loved with someone else time and again?

         “Why did you never say anything?” Rick croaked out after swallowing thickly.

Daryl still stared at his feet.

         “Couldn’t risk losin’ yer friendship. ‘Twas all I had and ya gotta be honest here, Rick.”   
He looked up and met the younger man’s eyes.  
         “Up until a moment ago you and I …” he gestured between them, “‘twas the furthest thing from yer mind, right?”

         “But didn’t you … didn’t you ever want … _more_?”

         “I had _more_. Remember before the war against the Saviors ya told me love was no more than a feeling that might change, but the special bond with yer soulmate that’d go way beyond any feelin’ and was unbreakable, infinite. And I had that.”

         “Could’ve had both.”

         “’s like I said – ya wasn’t even ready for the idea of bein’ with a man until now. I coulda _lost_ both, so I kept ma mouth shut. I’s hopin’ one day ya was gonna come to it on yer own.”   
He shrugged.  
         “Woulda been nice if it hadn’t taken ya twenty years though.”

He suppressed a chuckle suddenly.

         “Hades said, if that Newton dude had been as slow in catchin’ on as you, he woulda ended up with a major concussion and hundreds a’ apples for apple cider.” 

The remark had Rick laugh out loud despite himself, before he sobered up from one moment to the next. The way Daryl was looking at him pulled him in and it was totally quiet all of a sudden as if time had stopped and the universe was holding its breath.   
         It took all of his willpower to avert his eyes from Daryl to cast a look around and somehow he wasn’t even surprised when he found both Death and the gatekeeper gone.   
The gate was still firmly shut and the message was clear. The most important thing they both still had to sort out was _them._  
Daryl’s greatest regret was never having been with Rick in every way possible, never touching him as a lover, never being complete. And Rick had been looking for his true love in the wrong places all his life, not realizing that his search could have been over decades ago. This part of their story needed to have an end, so they would have a new beginning, a new chapter.

The gate emitted a warm, golden, almost romantic glow as though dozens of candles were lit and it had a smile tug on Rick’s lips when he noticed. Were they doing that on purpose or was it merely the way he was seeing it?

         “If they gonna play Barry Manilow now, ‘m outta here”, Daryl murmured next to him while he drew closer to Rick, who had to suppress a chuckle. 

Lori used to love Barry Manilow. Lori. Who was Lori? He remembered just a moment ago, but the name had no meaning anymore. He was looking into Daryl’s blue eyes and drowned in them, the past forgotten, their future not even a thought worth thinking. All that mattered was right here and now. 

         “Do I need ta wait another twenty years, Grimes?” Daryl said challengingly, before wrapping his arms around Rick’s middle once again and pulling him close.

Their faces were only inches apart now and what would have appeared _odd_ to Rick not too long ago was the only thing he truly wanted right now. Kiss Daryl. Hold him close. Make love to him. Be his _everything._  
Loyal, faithful, honest, reliable, caring and loving Daryl Dixon. He had been such a fool.   
He drew even closer and breathed to Daryl:  
          
         “I’m sorry.”

         “Ya always apologize up front? No wonder all a’ ‘em girls ran.” 

Rick’s eyes widened when for once he caught the drift instantly, but before he could say anything Daryl’s mouth on his ended that train of thought. His knees almost gave out when the archer pressed close to him with his lips parting the same moment and his tongue tracing Rick’s lips, demanding entrance.   
The younger man complied only too willingly and the next moment they kissed ardently as though this wasn’t their first kiss, but only one of countless others before. As thought they had been doing this every day for the past twenty years and Rick couldn’t help regretting that they hadn’t. This felt so perfect, so absolutely right, just like everything he had ever wanted.  
Daryl tasted and smelled of smoke, leather and the woods he loved so much and Rick breathed in deep as though he meant to inhale the archer. Their tongues engaged in a sensual dance, pushing back and forth in a heated battle for territory, exploring each other’s mouth, only to be playful the next moment, joining their lips in tenderly licking and tracing the other’s jaw and neck.   
While he ran the fingers of his left hand tenderly through Rick’s curls, Daryl started opening the buttons of Rick’s shirt with the other, all the while resuming the passionate kissing. He had time. After waiting two decades for this moment, he had every intention to indulge in every single second this lasted and he’d make sure there were going to be many seconds before this was over.   
Rick’s skin felt warm to his touch when he slipped his hands under the soft fabric of the shirt and started running them tenderly over the younger man’s back. Rick mirrored his movement by pulling Daryl’s shirt up and slipping his hands underneath, when he felt the archer freeze and tense up suddenly.  
Rick planted a line of soft little kisses on the other man’s neck, knowing well why he reacted like that.

         “It’s alright, Daryl. I know they’re there.”

         “Ya can choose what I look like to yer eyes”, the older man croaked out. “Make ‘em go away.”

Rick stopped his tender kisses and pulled back far enough to be able to look into Daryl’s wide, fearful eyes. Fear of being rejected because of scars a cruel, simple-minded poor excuse for a father had inflicted on him for no fault of his own.  
He pecked the archer’s lips before slowly shaking his head.

         “No. They are a part of you, a part of what _made_ you the person you are. And to me that person is perfect just the way it is.”

Daryl pressed his trembling lips tightly together and let his head drop onto Rick’s shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of the other man’s neck.

         “’m a pussy for never gettin’ over it, huh?” he muttered next to Rick’s ear.

The younger man pulled him tight and resumed the gentle stroking of Daryl’s back.

         “No. You survived more than even these days most people have to go through and that made you way stronger than you ever realized.”

The hands slipped lower suddenly and landed on Daryl’s butt. 

         “How about I make you forget those scars are even there?” Rick suggested teasingly before pulling Daryl closer and grinding their groins together. 

The archer gave a deep, throaty moan when his cock reacted instantly and his legs turned to jelly. He let himself sink to the ground and pulled Rick along, while he resumed the ardent kisses.   
The roaming of their hands and kissing became more heated by the second and soon they were pulling on each other’s clothes like mad, while the function of their brains was clearly overpowered by the demand of other body parts.   
Daryl felt dizzy when he pulled Rick’s shirt over the man’s head and let his hands run over the slightly hairy chest and the strong stomach muscles. He was almost unable to still put a coherent thought together, while his rock-hard cock was throbbing  painfully. Apparently there wasn’t enough blood left in his head to keep his brain working, but he couldn’t have cared less. Just like he totally dismissed the idea to drag this out longer than necessary. Hell, he had waited twenty long years for this man, which should definitely pass as the longest foreplay in history. And he wanted Rick so badly now that it hurt.  
His hands were slightly shaking when he opened the button of the other man’s pants and pulled it from his hips in one rough jerk. Rick followed suit and then was over him almost instantly, kissing him so fiercely that he cracked his lip and drew blood.

A tremble ran through Daryl’s body and his breath became hitched all of a sudden. When Rick drew back slightly and looked him in he eyes he saw the pupils dilated so wide that the blue was almost gone, while Daryl was pale as a sheet and pressed his lips together to a thin line. Fear. Apparently this situation brought back anything but pleasant memories – the taste of blood, this eerie twilight and someone pressing him down and being anything but gentle.  
          
         “I’m sorry”, Rick said softly and lifted one hand to run it tenderly over Daryl’s cheek. “It’s been a while and I got carried away, huh?”

         “It’s been a while?” Daryl growled while giving him a meaningful look. “Man, ya sure as hell bitchin’ to the wrong guy. I got callus on ma hand, if ya catch ma meanin’, but still …”

         “I know.” He pecked Daryl’s lips tenderly before turning them around, looking up to the archer with a smile. “Since it’s my first time with a man I don’t really know what I’m doing here, so I’m putting you in charge.” 

Daryl pulled a face.

         “Ya make it sound like we was goin’ ta war or somethin’. Ya don’t need a battle plan for this, Grimes. Ain’t no different than ‘twas with ‘em girls.”

Rick lifted an eyebrow while suppressing a chuckle.

         “Actually, there is quite a _big_ difference from what I’ve seen so far”, he teased, but the joke fell flat.

Daryl didn’t react to it at all. He didn’t say a thing, just looked at him, and Rick realized that he was about to mess the one thing up that Daryl had been waiting and hoping for for twenty long years. 

The younger man reached up and placed his palms flat on the other man’s chest, having his thumbs start giving gentle strokes.

         “Show me what you want me to do”, he said softly. “I wanna do this right. For you.”

Daryl bent down to him and kissed him gently.

         “I just need ta be complete.”

Apparently the archer thought that said it all, while he placed his hands on top of Rick’s. Rick sat up slowly and slipped his arms around the other man to pull him close. 

         “So you want me to …”

         “Yeah. Since yer a virgin here, so ta speak, we best play it that way.” He placed a kiss to the side of Rick’s head.  “Don’t matter ta me.  I just wanna … just need ta feel ya as close as only possible.”

Rick nodded. He turned his head to nibble on Daryl’s earlobe, trying to buy time, while the little wheels in his head were turning. Although Daryl hadn’t really meant it that way, he really was a virgin here just now. For the first time in his life he truly envied Shane for his _expertise_ in practically all directions as far as sex was concerned. Shane had never shied away from anything and what he hadn’t tried himself, he had watched pornos on, dollars to donuts. He would know how two men did it and what was required to …

         “Stop thinking”, Daryl’s voice derailed his train of thought. “I can almost hear ‘em li’l wheels turnin’, man. Want me ta draw ya a picture?” 

Rick sighed.

         “I’m sorry, Daryl. I’m ruining it all, right?”

The archer pulled back and placed his hands on either side of Rick’s face.

         “Yer here, with me and yer really tryin’, for me. Nah, yer not ruinin’ nothing. I just … damn, Rick, if yer takin’ much longer ‘m gonna explode, man. Can’t say this in any fuckin’ romantic way, but it’s the same procedure as always. Get it up, find an opening, stick it in and move. Simple as that.” 

Rick burst out laughing.

         “Oh yeah, I remember. Like riding a bike. Once you know how …”

         “Idiot”, Daryl replied with a suppressed smirk. 

         “Don’t we need … you know, lube or something?” 

He thought he remembered that from somewhere, but Daryl casting him a look had him blush.

         “So ya got some information, huh? – Rick, look around ya. We’re dead, we ain’t got physical bodies no more.”

         “Feels pretty physical to me.”

         “’s all in yer head.”

         “No, it’s definitely in other places.”

         “Rick!” Daryl chided mildly with the ghost of a smile. “Use yer imagination.”

His lips found Rick’s the next moment and they started kissing, while their hands explored the other man’s body again.   
A body that was so familiar and yet no more than a well known stranger. They would have recognized each other’s voice among thousands, could have told the friend apart from others by the way they moved and a variety of typical gestures, knew every wrinkle in the other’s face, the shape of the fingernails, the color of the eyes and yet right now they felt like they knew nothing.   
The kissing shifted from tender to passionate and the roaming of their hands grew more demanding, but they never once overstepped the thin line between ardent and rough. 

         _I just need ta be complete._

Daryl pulled Rick on top of him and looked him deep in the eyes, planting more kisses on the already kiss-swollen lips. He saw the silent question in the azure blue orbs and gave an affirmative nod. Yes, he was sure. And, yes, he wanted this. He’s been wanting nothing else for so long, needed to be completed, had to feel Rick inside of him. And when he was, Daryl was crying.   
Hot tears of relief, of bliss, of overflowing emotions that had to be kept at bay for so long ran down his cheeks while Rick thrusted into him. They were one, finally. 

It didn’t take long, for they were both unwilling and unable to hold back and they came violently together, perfectly in tune just the way they had spent the past two decades by each other’s side. 

Rick was sure that this had been the most intense orgasm he had ever had and he was panting heavily when he collapsed next to his partner, grinning like a fool. He turned his head to Daryl and his smile disappeared the second he saw the tears on the older man’s face.

         “Daryl.” He cupped the archer’s cheek and tenderly wiped the tears there away with his thumb. “Did I hurt you?”

         “Nah.” The archer turned to him and wrapped an arm over Rick’s lean body to pull him close. “Nah, ya didn’t. On the contrary. Guess ‘m just … happy. – ’twas the first time for me, too, ya know. First time I made love with someone.”

He heard Rick gasped and knew the question before the younger man could even ask it, so he hurried to add:

         “Nah, not what yer thinkin’. I ain’t no virgin, ‘s just … there’s a difference between fuckin’ and makin’ love. Never loved no one before and ‘em other guys … they didn’t give a damn ‘bout me or what I felt, so that was pretty much just goin’ through the motions, no feelings involved. Kinda ironic that I hadda die first to finally know what it’s like.”

Rick closed his eyes and pulled Daryl closer, fighting back the tears that were pressing against his eyelids.   
There was nothing he could have done about the first years of his partner’s life, but he should have been there for him during the last. Been there for him in every respect, but he’d been blind, deaf and plain stupid. Daryl was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he hadn’t seen it. All these years this wonderful man had lived in the shadows, apparently hadn’t had one single happy day in all his life and the one person who could have changed that and yet did not, was the one who claimed to be his best friend, his brother, his soulmate. 

         “Don’t”, Daryl said gently in that moment. “Know yer feelin’ guilty, blamin’ yerself, but ‘twasn’t yer fault. Ya was everythin’ ta me ya could have at the time, so no more regrets or we’re never gonna get through that gate.” 

A smile tugged at the corners of Rick’s mouth. Then he lifted one hand and ran his fingers tenderly through Daryl’s long hair.

         “I love you”, he whispered to him.

  “Know ya do”, Daryl whispered back. “And ya have for a long time, one way or the other. ‘s like ya said back then – there’s different ways ta love and that somethin’ special, the somethin’ _more,_ that was always mine. ‘s why I wasn’t unhappy.”

         “But …”

         “Ssshh.” Daryl sealed Rick’s lips with his once again. “Ain’t important no more. We got eternity, Rick, and if ya feel like ya hadda make anythin’ up ta me – yer welcome ta do that every single day from now on.” 

Rick chuckled.

         “Good thing I’m unlikely to get a heart attack – again.” 

         “’s that how ya died? Heart attack?” 

The amusement was gone.

         “Yeah, I guess. I died in my sleep. Last time I saw my body my eyes were open though, so I guess something woke me, something was wrong, maybe there was pain – can’t remember. Must have been over pretty quick. – How about you?” 

         “Same. I ’s out in the woods huntin’ and just dropped dead as though someone had pulled the plug. But then – that was the deal.”

Rick hugged Daryl tight and breathed in deep.

         “You really made a deal with Death to die the moment I do?”

Swallowing thickly, the archer nodded before he pulled back and wordlessly sat up. He hesitated a moment, then he said:

         “Didn’t tell ya the whole story.”

The younger man pushed himself up on his elbows and cast him a questioning look.

         “There was more”, Daryl picked up. “It woulda worked the other way round, too, ya know.”  
He lowered his eyes when he didn’t dare look at his partner any longer.  
         “ ‘m sorry. I realized too late that I made a deal about _yer_ life as well and I had no right…”

         “Did you make that deal before or after I told you that you were the only one I couldn’t live without?”

         “After.”

Rick reached out and got hold of Daryl’s hand.

         “Then you did me a favor, right? That deal would have saved me from being left behind without you – so thank you.” 

He pulled on the hand he still held in his own and a moment later they were an ardently kissing entangled heap of arms and legs once again.

 

They didn’t know how long they’d been lying in each other’s arms, savoring the warmth and closeness they had always felt around each other yet had never experienced physically. Eventually they got up and dressed to finally make for the gate, hoping it would open even without the gatekeeper present. 

          “Wonder if they even let me in”, Daryl said unexpectedly. “‘m just a Dixon after all and ‘m gonna get ‘em fluffy white clouds dirty.”

It was hard to determine by Daryl’s inflection whether this was supposed to be a joke or a bitter reflection on his life.    
Before Rick had a chance to reply it grew lighter around them and slowly, as though someone was cranking up a camping lantern, the dim glow of the gatekeeper grew brighter and brighter until the light being was standing in front of them again. 

         “I hope you were able to sort things out”, he said and for a moment both men thought they saw the light flicker softly.

Despite himself Rick’s ears turned a deeper shade of red when he nodded wordlessly. Both he and Daryl were concentrating on keeping a straight face and deliberately stood a few inches apart in order not to touch. Why, they couldn’t even tell. Maybe because it had just dawned on them that they had made out right in front of Heaven’s gate and that this may have been considered _inappropriate._

They never even noticed Death appearing behind them, shaking his head to himself.

 

Those two are killing me. Okay, now that was a terrible pun, but nevertheless … We _told_ them we knew all of their sins, their thoughts, their wishes, dreams and desires, _them._ And yet they are standing there now like two little boys caught with their hands in the cookie jar and play innocent. Heaven’s sake, I swear they made that gate rattle, so practically every soul around here _knows_ what they’ve been doing _._ Especially those who are standing in line waiting, because those two are causing a backup here. – I think, I’m really gonna miss them.

 

And for the first time in ages Death actually smiled

“Now”, the gatekeeper’s voice echoed all around them, “are there any more regrets? Anything still burdening your souls?”

The transparent form changed instantly and started to build the solid appearance of a person once again. A man with thin blonde hair at shoulder length, a crossbow over his shoulder and the left side of his face burned.  
Rick’s head whipped around and he looked at Daryl with wide eyes, but as quickly as the blond man had appeared, he was gone again. 

         “Dwight?” Rick asked cautiously. 

Daryl shrugged.

         “Sometimes, just for a moment, I think I shoulda killed him after all. For killing Denise, shooting me, all he did in the burned forest and when I was in that cell, but then …Ya know, I keep wonderin’ if we’d won the war without ‘im. We ‘s lucky ta have ‘im on our side and his information ‘n’ support was invaluable. If I’d killed ‘im, he wouldn’t ‘ve been there ta help us. Guess all things happen for a reason. Maybe I should make ma peace with ‘im ‘n’ just forgive ‘im, huh?”

Rick nodded silently before wrapping one arm around Daryl’s shoulders and giving them a reassuring squeeze. 

         “Good decision”, he said. “I know Denise’s death still haunts you, but I believed Dwight that it was an accident. And he saved countless other lives by supporting us, so yeah …” He leaned into Daryl. “Let it go and make your peace. It’s time.” 

The gatekeeper glowed brighter, which may have been a sign of approval, maybe even joy.

         “Very well. What about your father, Daryl?”

         “Nah!” The reply came as fiercely and curt as a gunshot. “Not him. Ain’t ever gonna forgive ‘im for what he’s done. Shoulda been ‘im bein’ sorry ‘n’ feelin’ remorse. – Did he?”

         “Actually, I am not allowed to give that information, but let’s say Will Dixon is still _considering_ things.”

         “Hope he went straight ta hell”, Daryl spat. 

His face was a stony façade, but his eyes seemed to burn with an inner fire, fueled by all the negative emotions the thought of his father evoked in him. 

         “Daryl”, the gatekeeper said gently, “hate and fury are not going to help you move on.”

         “Ain’t gonna waste no good emotions on a bastard like him. He don’t deserve ‘em. He ain’t never had a single one for me or Merle, either. Not once. This ain’t ‘bout hate and fury – ‘s justice.”

         “Interesting way of looking at things, but I’m afraid I will have to disappoint you – there is no such thing as hell.” 

The gatekeeper saw the two sets of blue eyes in front of him turn cold as glacier ice and even behind their backs Death could sense a new wave of fury radiate from both of them.

         “So what yer sayin’ is that a jackass like ma ol’ man ain’t gonna get any punishment?”

         “No matter what someone did”, Rick cut in, “in the end they all gonna receive absolution and everything’s forgiven and forgotten?”

         “You’re forgetting what I told you”, the gatekeeper replied calmly. “I am not here to judge. Everybody judges themselves and let’s say, only a good person _knows_ and acknowledges their mistakes. As for the others … as long as they don’t see anything wrong with what they did, they won’t feel any remorse and without that, there won’t be a closure.”

         “So?” Daryl growled. “If there’s no hell …”

         “There is worse than what you think of as hell”, Death’s deep, sinister voice sounded behind them. “Not finding closure means staying with me in between worlds for all times. You have both experienced it when we came here – the eternal darkness and silence, the nothingness that swallows every sound, every light and in time, every hope.”

         “Even good people do bad things sometimes”, the gatekeeper cut in, “but it’s the core that matters. We can tell the difference between a dark deed and the darkness within. People like your father, Daryl, they’ve got no light inside of them. The darkness, the emptiness and silence they are trapped in is a part of their being. Only if they are able to evolve, understand, acknowledge, accept and regret their sins, they will be able to see the light, to _be_ the light.  
Some need a long time to accomplish that and some never will. They will be lost in their own darkness for all times. We will see if Will Dixon will be one of them.” 

 

Rick had to swallow thickly against a lump in his throat when he thought back to the terrible feeling of being blind and deaf and entirely helpless in the void and a cold hand seemed to clutch his heart all of a sudden.

Shane. He knew his old friend well and he was totally aware of the fact that Shane wasn’t a bad person –  but he was a stubborn son of a bitch.   
Had he still been furious and hateful when he had come here all those years ago? Did he put the blame on him, Rick? Had he pointed fingers, unwilling or unable to see that they had both made mistakes? 

         “Please”, Rick croaked out. “Shane … I know him. We were friends for years, brothers … and he’s not a bad guy. He lost his way back then, was pushed off track – not least because of me – but there used to be light. Please! He doesn’t deserve being there. If I could talk to him …”

         “Rick.” The gatekeeper’s light shone brighter. “What you just tried to do brightens your own light and I think I can go against regulations for once. Don’t worry – your friend moved on, because when he came here Shane said exactly the same about you.”

A tear of relief slid down Rick’s cheek.

         “He’s here then?” he asked, nodding towards the gate.

         “He is. And he’s waiting for you. In fact, there are lots of people waiting for the both of you.” 

A seemingly endless row of names and faces popped up in Rick and Daryl’s minds and had them gasp. All the people they had lost, all the friends and family members they missed so achingly – they were going to see them again. And all the things that hadn’t been said and done in their living years, they had a second chance now to complete all of these stories. 

The two men looked at each other and wide smiles spread over their faces. Simultaneously they reached for each other’s hand and interlaced their fingers, giving the other’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

         “Ready?” Daryl asked.

         “Ready. – No, wait.”

Unexpectedly Rick turned around to Death and cast him a smile.

         “Thanks.”

Hades was totally taken aback and in the first shock almost dropped his scythe.

         “What for?” he said, his voice suspiciously higher than usual.

         “For slapping me upside my head before”, the man replied with a smirk, casting his partner a quick side glance. “That was necessary.”

         “You can say that again”, Death replied in his usual rumble to hide the fact that he was actually touched.

         “Yeah, thanks, man”, Daryl voiced his gratitude, too, in that moment. “For makin’ that deal with me back then.”

         “You are dead because of that deal”, Hades reminded him.

         “Nah, I ain’t. Never been more alive.”

He squeezed Rick’s hand, while the two men looked each other deep in the eyes and were lost in the blue depths there for a long moment. When they cast Death a last glance, they saw him nod to them silently in a slow, respectful gesture.   
He wasn’t easily impressed, or touched, yet those two had managed to do both. 

Never before, in all the centuries he was already dealing with human beings, had anyone ever thanked him and probably no one would ever do it again. He would have liked to mark this day in a calendar – if he had had one – as a reminder that this race was worth saving. They had their flaws and they could be a real pain in the neck, but as long as there were people among them like this unique couple, mankind was worth their hopes and efforts.

         “You may proceed”, the gatekeeper said solemnly in that moment and the large, golden gate opened gracefully. 

The next moment it squeaked somewhat awful and had the gatekeeper flicker nervously. This had never happened before in all …

         “Daryl”, Rick said with an eye-roll.

         “Sorry, man, couldn’t help it. Just thought a big ol’ gate like that …”

         “Will you go already”, Death thundered behind their back and with a smirk the two men hurried through the gate, still holding on to each other’s hand.

 

Behind the threshold they were engulfed by the purest light they had ever seen. It didn’t blind them, just wrapped them in like a warm, soothing and protecting blanket, while an immense wave of love washed over them. 

         “Oh, my God”, Rick gasped. “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

         “Nah”, Daryl whispered in his ear, while he pulled his partner close, “but it comes in second.”

He kissed Rick on the cheek and with a wide smile the younger man turned his head and looked him in the eyes.

         “You’re a real romantic, Dixon, you know that.” 

Before Daryl had a chance to reply, someone calling his name drew his attention and a second later they became aware of several figures approaching them. There were several familiar voices and words hitting their ears even before they could make out any faces.

         “Look, they are holding hands.” “Thank God, Rick finally got it.” 

Daryl suppressed a smirk when he noticed Rick roll his eyes once more. 

         “Looks like I’m the last one to figure it out”, he sighed.

         “Don’t just look like it, ‘s a fact. But I luv ya despite bein’ pretty slow ta catch on.” 

         “I’m just gonna ignore you said that – save for the ‘I love you’ part”, Rick said softly while his face drew nearer to Daryl’s for a kiss.

Their lips found each other and the next moment they had wrapped their arms around each other and kissed passionately. A wolf whistle nearby had them draw apart, which instantly had two female voices that sounded like Sasha and Rosita go:  
         “For crying out loud, Abraham!”

A smile played around Rick’s lips.

         “I think I’m gonna like it here”, he whispered to Daryl before turning to the crowd that surrounded them.

         “Hey, bro”, a familiar voice said next to him and Rick’s eyes filled with tears.

Shane. He looked exactly the way he did before they had lost each other. When they had still been friends, brothers, partners on the force, before the world as they knew it had ended and their friendship along with it.   
For a moment they just wordlessly looked at each other, torn, undecided what to do next. It was Daryl’s reassuring squeeze to his hand right before he let go that pulled Rick out of his stupor and showed him the way.   
He reached out and pulled Shane into his arms, feeling the other man hug him right back.  
          
         “I’m sorry”, they said simultaneously, both sobbing, overwhelmed by oppressive emotions they had to deal with for way too long. 

A tall, graceful figure appearing next to him had Rick pull back and new tears pooled in his eyes instantly. Lori.

Neither of them said a word. They just looked at each other and knew all there was to say. Rick leaned in and placed a loving kiss on her cheek, before he cast Shane a glance and then said to both of them:

         “I’m glad you found each other. Should have been like that already back then.”

         “Ditto”, Shane said with a nod in Daryl’s direction. 

         “Yeah.” A smile spread over Rick’s face when he looked in his partner’s direction, but before he could say any more, another voice drew everyone’s attention.

         “Hey there, li’l brother. D’ya miss yer ol’ brother Merle?” 

Daryl’s head whipped around as he watched the tall man come out of the bright light and approach him.

         “Sometimes”, he croaked out.

         “Good enough”, Merle grinned. 

He cast a glance in Rick’s direction and with an eyebrow lifted turned to Daryl again.

         “So, you and Officer Friendly – yer still like this?”

He lifted his hand – Daryl wasn’t even surprised to see that he had both of his hands back – and held up his index and middle finger pressed together the way he had done to accompany the very same question all those years ago.

         “Nah”, Daryl replied and let the answer linger for a moment. Then he lifted his own hand and crossed his index and middle finger, holding them out for Merle to see. For them _all_ to see.   
         “We’re like _this_ now.”

There was a long, breathless moment in which Merle let his eyes wander between his brother and Rick. Then finally he broke out laughing and gave Daryl a hearty slap on the shoulder.

         “About time, Darylena. About time.” 

When more and more old friends were gathering around them, Daryl returned to Rick’s side and standing shoulder to shoulder they looked around themselves teary-eyed and smiling at the same time.  
They were all there. Glenn, Beth, Denise, Tara, Carol, Hershel and so many others. It was heartbreaking to see how many loved ones they had lost over the years, but now they were all back together. 

         “I love reunions”, Rick whispered to Daryl.

         “Yeah, so do I”, the archer replied while he slipped his hand into Rick’s once again and looked him deep in the eyes.

Without breaking the contact Rick said softly:

         “I will definitely like it here.” 

 

The last thing the gatekeeper and Death saw of Rick and Daryl before the gate closed again was them being surrounded by a large number of happily smiling faces and people reaching out to hug and welcome them. 

         “There they go”, the gatekeeper sighed. Sometimes it was actually hard letting a mortal move on after really enjoying to have met them.   
         “I never thought I’d say this, but you were right making that deal. Unorthodox, but justified. And actually an entirely wonderful thing to do, Hades. You are growing soft in your old age, huh?”

Hades just stared at him deep in thought and didn’t react to the friendly teasing. 

 

He’s wrong. I’m not growing soft at all and that jackass next in line is going to learn that very soon. _I_ wasn’t the reason that deal was made, Daryl Dixon was.   
I have never before come across any other mortal who was loyal, devoted and enduring to such an incredible extent. The first half of his life his only wish and his greatest dream was to find someone who’d love him. And when he finally found his _one,_ he had to wait the rest of his life and even die first before Rick Grimes understood his own heart. But Daryl waited with the patience of a saint, never giving up hope, never complaining, happy with whatever Rick had to offer.   
How could I deny him the small favor he was asking for? The only thing Daryl truly feared was being separated from Rick. Most people fear nothing more than me – he on the other hand offered to go with me freely, if only Rick was with him.   
Such an unconditional love needs to be rewarded and after today, after witnessing how the new chapter in their joint story started, I know I did the right thing. He deserves no less.

 

         “Daryl Dixon”, Hades said gravely after a moment, “is the most unique, encouraging and intriguing spirit I ever met.”

         “True”, the gatekeeper agreed. “He wore those wings rightfully. But what you just said actually only proves my point – you _are_ growing soft, old friend.”

         “And you better watch your mouth, sunshine.” 

Deep down inside Death grinned to himself. A quote was appropriate to salute the only mortal he would bow to, the only one who ever dared bargain with him and came out on top. He was going to miss Daryl. 

         “Alright then”, the gatekeeper said gently, sensing that the conversation was over, “do you have someone new?”

         “Oh yes”, Hades replied darkly. “And you’re not gonna like it.”

         “I’m not here to _like_ anything. I’m here to help people move on.”

         “Best pull up a chair then. I’ve got a feeling this is going to take longer.”

The gatekeeper flickered in slight annoyance.

         “Are you being prejudiced, Hades?” 

         “No. I’m being realistic. I know that man. He calls himself Negan. Wouldn’t even tell me his full name …”

         “Oh, a stubborn one. The kind who thinks they could keep things from us and being a smartass would get them anywhere. This should be interesting.”

Hades would have liked to pull a face right now.

         “ _Interesting …_ That’s one way to put it. I met that guy lots of times in the past. Let’s just say I had a steady line of clients because of him and he thinks I even need to thank him for that.”  
He growled deep in his throat.  
         “Can you believe that? He said, and I quote, _how about a thank you._ ”

Despite himself the gatekeeper had to chuckle, but composed himself quickly when he noticed the dark aura around Hades grow as black as the nothingness. 

         “I’m glad you’re having fun”, Hades snapped. “But get this – the first thing Negan said to me was that he wasn’t ready, because he still had a score to settle with a certain Rick Grimes.”

         “Oh, brother.” The gatekeeper’s light dimmed instantly. “Someone on a vendetta. Best tell your other clients to draw a number and be prepared for a longer wait.”

         “Yeah, one or two centuries, I’d say.”

If the gatekeeper didn’t know better, he would have said Hades was gloating. 

         “You are a jokester today, aren’t you, old friend?” 

         “Excuse me for actually having the first good day in centuries.” He cast a fond glance in the direction of the gate, before focussing on the matter at hand again.   
         “Nothing is going to spoil it for me today – not even that Negan _bat_ ass.”

         “Hades, please.” 

The gatekeeper envied the humans in that moment for the ability to run a headache when the situation required it. 

         “Alright then – bring him in.”

Hades nodded and turned to get their newest client. Before he disappeared he turned to the light being once again and said:

         “I thought I had a shitty job, but I don’t envy you. You can’t even smack them upside the head.”

         “True”, the gatekeeper agreed, glowing brighter in mild amusement. “It _is_ a shitty job. But …”

And they both ended the sentence perfectly in sync:

         “… someone’s gotta do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, drop me a line. If you didn't, do too. LoL I'd love to hear your opinion.


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